Chapter 3 – A Precious Person

The Seventeenth of July H

There were eight days of school left before summer break. Emotions of excitement at the thought of summer break, or frustration that there was still over a week left, were emotions well beyond me at my age. My heart had long since dulled to such sentiments. 

Avoiding the sun’s burning UV rays, I walked beneath the shade of trees, surrounded on all sides by choruses of cicadas engaged in competing song. Their passionate voices, transformed by the heat reflected against the asphalt, morphed into a sweltering summer air that even the most resilient of people could acutely feel.

“Aya-chan, let’s go out! Let’s go shopping! I’ll buy you all the clothes you want~!”

It was afternoon, and having just arrived home from school, I found myself being greeted by none other than Yuuka’s infuriating, wheedling voice. Yuuka’s unmistakable, infuriating, wheedling voice. I was sure I’d locked the door though, so how…

I’d barely made it home, narrowly evading heatstroke, and now I was being forced to return once more into the blazing heat. I wanted to cry out for forgiveness.

“At least let me change clothes first.”

“Ehh- c’mon. We can have a uniform date.”

Yuuka grabbed my wrists and slipped on a pair of mules before moving to drag me outside. If I resisted and pulled back against her, she’d probably end up falling and spraining her ankle, so I grudgingly let myself be dragged along. 

“It’s not a date.” 

She didn’t even give me a chance to take off my shoes. But more importantly. “Hey, don’t I stink of sweat?”

“You smell great.”

That was obviously a lie. The stink of sweat was not a pleasant fragrance. Generally, if other people smelled good, it’d be due to stuff like shampoo, soap, fabric conditioner, or something like perfume. 

For members of the opposite gender, the pheromones inside sweat might trigger reproductive instincts, so there was an argument to be made there. But what about members of the same sex? Hypothetically speaking, if someone was the most beautiful and attractive woman in the world, were there girls who could find her sweaty body odor pleasant? …I guess it was possible.

It was possible, but I still made sure to apply a citrus deodorant spray when Yuuka wasn’t looking. Just a little. Since if I applied too much, my skin would break out into rash. 

After spending several tens of minutes of being jolted around by the train, we arrived at a rather large train terminal. During the train ride, Yuuka grew increasingly lively, her mouth accelerating as we neared shopping district. In contrast, I found myself speaking less and less. Somehow, being trapped in a tiny compartment with Yuuka was a thousand times worse than the summer heat. What wouldn’t I give to be outside again.

So when we finally exited the station, I relished the feeling of the July summer heat, letting it cling to my skin. Though when Yuuka, her interest caught by a boutique, pulled me by my hand into a store, I once again fell back in love with air conditioning. 

I will admit that Yuuka offering to pick out clothes for me was a big help.

Naturally, even I had to buy clothes from time to time, and I’d been wanting to try out various Western clothes, though I’d never say that out loud. But without Yuuka, I’d have to choose clothes by myself. Which also meant that I’d have to find clothes that I liked the most. Clothes that wouldn’t be there the next day. I wasn’t so oblivious to reality that I believed I’d be able to buy the same clothes in different iterations of the same day.

In that respect, I enjoyed playing the role of Yuuka’s dress-up doll.

Despite being an unbelievably thrifty and cheap woman, Yuuka’s fashion sense wasn’t bad, and I wasn’t under any obligation to show affection towards the useless things she often picked out for me. To that extent, I couldn’t really ask for better conditions.

“Hey, Aya-chan. Don’t you think this hat is cute?”

Yuuka beamed delightedly, wearing an oversized newsboy cap that seemed to swallow her entire head. Oddly enough, the cream-colored mass of fabric suited her surprisingly well.

“Huh. I think it looks good.”

“Right!? I thought so too so I brought it here-”

Abruptly, I felt my head grow heavy and my vision turned black. I had no idea what was happening to me.

“So cute!”

Ugh…

As I listened to my cousin’s loose, whole-hearted laughter, I found myself thinking about her. On multiple occasions, I’d seriously considered returning Yuuka’s feelings, even if only a little.

Her love was genuine. Which is why, even if I feigned my feelings, she would accept them without hesitation. She would cherish my love, without minding that it was insincere.

But the problem lay in what would happen after that.

Humans have a lifespan of around one hundred and twenty years. On the other hand, human brains are not designed to hold one hundred and twenty years worth of memories. In around ten years, my brain will have exceeded that capacity. I didn’t know what would become of me then. Perhaps I’d end up unexpectedly sane. Or perhaps I’d become a monster, in both name and nature. There was no reason that my mind should continue to function and maintain its sanity after outliving my body’s lifespan. As already evident in the current me, I was becoming more and more detached from what it meant to be human.

I didn’t want Yuuka to regret choosing me when those ten years had elapsed. I wanted her to find a more perfect, complete happiness. It my own, selfish desire, but it was also my genuine and honest feeling. 

“Yuuka.”

I took off the cap. I stood on my toes, stretching up as high as I could reach, and patted Yuuka’s head a single time.

I placed the hat on her head as she stared, dumbfounded.

“Mm. Looks really cute.” Completely out of character for me, but nevertheless, I complimented her.

“Ah… it’s raining.”

“Rain?”

What was she talking about… The weather had been perfectly clear yesterday and the day before that and the day before that, with not a single cloud daring to touch the sun. The thought of rain was absurd. I could repeat the same day ten times and the weather would absolutely never change under any circumstance.

“It’s a huge thunderstorm! Completely defying all expectations! It made my Aya-chan go crazy! She’s bugging out!! But I’m so happy!!”

“Y-Yuuka, don’t shout.”

No matter how you looked at it, Yuuka, exuding smiles and joy, had broken. Her body twitched and spasmed, and I felt disgusted watching her.

As I tried my hardest to shut up the suspicious person in front of me, I firmly resolved to never compliment her again.

But Yuuka evidently hadn’t learned her lesson. Even afterwards, she blatantly ignored my sullen expression and browsed the shop happily, returning with a heap of clothes and accessories.

“Aya-chan, what do you think about this one?”

“Why can’t you just-“

-try it on yourself? I almost said, but caught my tongue. Yuuka was holding up a one-piece, with a design that was perhaps a little too much for a twenty-three year old woman. While it was cute, several design choices, including the skirt length and exposed shoulders, were rather questionable. Let alone the fact that I was seventy-five years old…

I felt sick at the thought of my age.

When we’d first first met five years ago, we weren’t even thirty years apart, but now I was older than Yuuka by more than fifty years. In those five years, Yuuka had gone from a college student to an adult, while I had been and still was a useless adult. I pondered these heavy, depressing thoughts.

“Huh? What? Are you listening? Can you hear me? Aya-chan!”

“W-what? What’d you say?”

Oi. Don’t call out to people while they’re in the middle of having heavy, depressing thoughts.

“I was telling you try it on. This dress.”

“Don’t want to. Too embarrassing.”

And furthermore, while it was unfortunate, my figure wasn’t made for these types of clothes. I pushed back against Yuuka, arguing and making excuses that I was sweating a ton and didn’t want to dirty the clothes and so forth. Yuuka refused to listen to any of my complaints, doing her best to force the dress on me.

In the midst of our back and forth, a cheerful voice sounded out from behind us.

“Please do try on the dress.”

I turned around, catching the beaming smile of a store employee. I recognized her. She had greeted Yuuka and I when we’d previously visited this shop. She was around the same age as Yuuka. I also recalled that, on multiple occasions, they had talked to each other in a friendly manner. So that’s what Yuuka had been plotting…

“See, Aya-chan? You should listen to her. If you buy it without trying it on, the front might be too tight and you wouldn’t know until you got home.”

Just drop dead already.

As I unwillingly fumbled with the dress before finally putting it on, I found the skirt length to be about average, neither too long nor short. That didn’t make it any less embarrassing, and I couldn’t calm my racing heart as my knees were exposed to refreshing air. But that paled in comparison to my shoulders, laid completely bare thanks to the no-sleeve design. 

“It looks great on you. Is she your younger sister?” the employee asked Yuuka.

“We’re lovers.”

“We’re cousins.”

Yuuka must be sleep-talking right now, I decided. Otherwise, there was no way she’d spout such idiotic nonsense. I was tempted to snap her out of her delusions, but I was reminded of the superstition where if you talked back to someone sleep-talking, they’d never be able to leave their dream, and would ultimately die. Maybe it was better to leave her be…? Nah, who was I kidding. (T/N: Referring to a japanese superstition where you shouldn’t answer someone sleep-talking, else they’d die)

“We can get married!”

“No, I’m pretty sure we can’t!”

Admittedly, that law would probably change soon. 

College student marriages were already a hot topic, but that was infinitely less scandalous than high school student marriages. I didn’t even want to think about what kind of fantasies our neighbors, with way to much free time on their hands, would conjure up. Though I got the feeling that our neighbors didn’t care all that much. Else they would’ve done something about the child neglect situation. 

“Want to wear it outside?”

In other words, it had already been decided that we were buying it. No one had even asked for my input. I mean, it was honestly kind of cute but… yeah, no. I wasn’t going to let myself take interest in the dress. I didn’t know if today would be chosen yet, but if I carelessly decided I liked the dress, it’d only end in disappointment.

Yuuka shrugged. “If you don’t wear it, I might be tempted to sniff it while I’m carrying the bags, is all I’m saying.”

“I’ll wear it.”

“Thank you for your purchase. I’ll remove the tag for you.”

Though after I changed into the dress, Yuuka turned her sights to my school uniform instead, sniffing it nonstop. I wanted to disappear.

It was noon, and unsurprisingly, the paved road was packed jam full with pedestrians.

As I walked along the sidewalk under the blistering sun, carrying my school uniform in one hand, I couldn’t help but feel the pressure of numerous gazes on me. I sincerely hoped that they weren’t looking anywhere weird. Then again, it could’ve just been me being overly self-conscious.

“It’s too hot. Let’s find a shop or something.”

Yuuka nodded in agreement. “Wanna go to a movie? I bet a horror movie will cool you right down.”

“I already watched a horror movie with the yesterday you.”

During the movie, she kept trying to touch me at every opportunity, which was far creepier than any horror.

“Dammit. I’m so jealous of yesterday me. I bet she got to cling to Aya-chan and get all intimate.”

“That didn’t happen.”

Apart from the movie itself, the air-conditioned movie theater was an alluring proposition. However, there was poison laced in her honeyed words. Deceit and malice hid behind her guise of innocence. If I let those words ensnare me, I was nothing more than an idiot.

“Apart from horror, thriller, spy, action, romance, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy, drama, kaiju anime, knight, western, history, adventure, musicals, and pornos, I’m fine with anything.” I rejected movies in a rather roundabout way.

“Then, let’s watch a period drama!”

Yuuka, her good humor undeterred, continued to gleefully laugh like child, practically skipping along, her hands bouncing up and down without a care in the world. Unfortunately, one of her hands happened to be holding my hand, and every bounce shook my body, the hem of my skirt jumping along with it. Needless to say, Yuuka’s pace was quite troublesome. But even as I sighed, lamenting my misfortune, I knew that there weren’t many people in the world who’d go out with me and deliberately act this cheerful for my sake, so I secretly agreed to let her have her way. 

Suddenly, Yuuka spoke up. “Say, isn’t that Inaba-chan?”

“Huh?”

I craned my head so fast that I nearly broke my neck.

On the opposite side of the street, near the entrance of a doughnut chain store, was Inaba-san, walking leisurely along the sidewalk. She was still wearing her school uniform.

I wanted to call out to her, but hesitated. If I shouted her name now, I’d surely draw the stares of passersby, and I wasn’t the type of person who could just run up to her and casually greet her with ‘yo, wassup’ or something. Besides, I couldn’t cross the street in such heavy traffic, and if I waited until the traffic light changed, Inaba-san would probably have left already.

Ahh, but still. Inaba-san hadn’t noticed me, huh. Even though I was this close to her, she hadn’t heard me talking. Not that there was any particular reason that we had to meet, or any pressing matter that I needed to tell her. And so, frozen by indecision, I did nothing but stay at a standstill, watching as Inaba-san’s figure moved further away.

Naturally, Inaba-san had no way of guessing my internal conflicts.

“Oi, Inaba-chan!!” Not giving a single ounce of care to the passerby stares, Yuuka yelled out Inaba-san’s name. Most impressive for a twenty-three year old. 

Inaba-san startled, glancing around, searching for the voice’s owner. Finally, our eyes met.

“Yo, wassup!” Yuuka boomed.

It had truly been a long time since I’d seen my cousin’s smile this radiant. We waited for the traffic light to change before crossing the road, where Inaba-san received us cheerfully.

“What a coincidence running you all the way out here!”

“Y-yeah.”

My chest burned with uneasiness.

Now that I was face to face with Inaba-san, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelming embarrassed by my appearance.

“Your dress is so cute! Aizawa-san, somehow, how should I put it… I want to take you home with me!”

“…T-thanks.”

Ugh. I’d been seen.

I’d been seen by a classmate wearing this dress that obviously didn’t suit me.

And out of all anyone, I’d been seen by Inaba-san. Seen holding Yuuka’s hand, walking cheerfully along. It’s not that I was trying to maintain the appearance of a cool, indifferent character or anything. It was more like how a middle-schooler might try to hide their parents from their friends out of shame. 

“Hiya, Inaba-chan! How does MY cute Aya-chan look? Isn’t she cute!”

“Hello, Yuuka-san.”

It was probably my imagination, but I thought I heard the distinct crackling of ice-cold sparks.

The temperature seemed to drop by one or two degrees. Come to think of it, I got the feeling that the atmosphere between the two had been oddly strained when Inaba-san had stopped by my house…

If that was the case, then it was my duty to act as a mediator. I was suddenly imbued with a sense of duty.

“Hey, Inaba-san. The two of us were about to get some sweets. If you’re not in a hurry, want to come with us?”

“Wait, but Aya-chan, you don’t even like mrgh-“

I quickly slammed my hand against Yuuka’s mouth, sealing it shut. I refused to allow her to interfere and say something unnecessary.

“Is that really okay? Weren’t you planning on spending the day with Yuuka-san?”

“Not a problem at all. It’ll be fun if you’re with us.”

Without waiting for a reply, I grabbed each person’s hand and started to walk. Mm. I did a good deed. I was over the moon.

The secluded terrace was surrounded by lush greenery, the trees above providing ample shade against the summer sun. Almost like a hidden home, known only to a select few.

The three of us sat around a beautiful, round, wooden table having a tea party. Our party was just as gorgeous as the sugar sprinkled across the top of our doughnuts, which were sweet and melted on the tongue, leaving only tiny grains of sugar crystals behind.

“Aya-chan, this is super yummy! Here, let’s trade.”

“Ah, Aizawa-san, trade with me too…”

But still, how did we end up choosing a doughnut shop?

That was the only thing I regretted, even if just a little. I wasn’t fond of sweets. The sweets I baked myself were the exception. Since with those, I could adjust the sweetness and flavors to my liking.

Every inch of the table was cram-packed with confectionaries and sweets. There was chocolate too. And even fresh cream. A table that would cause any sugar-lover to drool uncontrollably.

I forced myself to take tiny bites, soothing the sickly sweetness with sips of bitter coffee. 

“You two can have my share.”

“Aya-chan, don’t you dare run away from sugar.”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to eat sweets, Aizawa-san?”

I was taken aback at the ferociousness with which they attacked the food. It’d completely slipped my mind that Yuuka was actually a girl. And of course, it went without saying that Inaba-san was one too. Their utter devotion to sweets and sugar extended far beyond the limits of our solar system. Though obviously, the only place they could live in outer space was earth, so that was just sophism.

I didn’t want them to fuss over me, so I tried to hide it. Unfortunately, Inaba-san wasn’t so easily fooled.

“Aizawa-san, could it be… that you don’t like sweets?”

“N-no, that’s not…”

She saw right through me. And even as I flustered my words, trying to deny the fact, it was too late.

“You’re absolutely right, Inaba-chan. Aya-chan hates ohagi and daifuku even more than insects.”

“Stop deliberately trying to cause misunderstandings.”

Yuuka had run her mouth far too much with that single comment. I glared at Yuuka, mustering as much hatred into my expression as I could. She didn’t seem fazed at all.

Inaba-san tilted her head. “Some… somehow, I felt like I knew that already. Did you tell me that before?”

“I didn’t.”

That day hadn’t been chosen. It would be easy to chalk these things up to Inaba-san’s deja vu, but I always made sure to remember exactly what had happened and what hadn’t. Else, if something unexpected came up and I wasn’t prepared, I’d forget which day had been chosen. And it was in that time that it would take me to remember that my relationships often collapsed.

“I see. Maybe it was dream.”

“I’m in your dreams?”

“Yeah. About once every two days.”

That was awfully specific.

But still. She dreamed about me, huh. She felt close enough to me that she dreamed about me. It was the first time anyone had accepted me so wholeheartedly.

I could barely suppress my feelings of joy from leaping out of my chest. 

Yuuka, utterly heedless of my struggle, lashed out unexpectedly. “…hm? You have dreams about my Aya-chan?”

“Yes, I do. What about it?”

The atmosphere had abruptly turned alarmingly threatening. And what was the ‘my’ about? What was I, a cat? You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Once every two days?”

“Who knows? Maybe more,” Inaba-san fired back, her smile never leaving her face. Scary.

Though it was only summer, bluish-white bolts of static electricity flowed freely between them, illuminating their faces. On the surface, it was a relaxing, afternoon tea party, but a whirlpool churned just below the water’s surface, composed of emotions thicker than two day old curry. 

“That’s not fair! I only get to dream about her once a week!” Yuuka burst out. Where the hell was she getting all this self-confidence from? “By the way, the frequency that you dream about someone is mrgrghh-“

“Here! Say ‘Ah!’ Have one!”

I grabbed a doughnut and forced it into Yuuka’s mouth.

For a moment, she stared up at me in pure bliss, but in next moment, her face turned amusing shades of red and blue as she began to suffocate.

At first, Inaba-san seemed flustered, but the surprise soon faded, replaced by embarrassment. 

“M-me too…! Aizawa-san, say… ah?” 

As she stumbled over her words, she brought a french cruller to my mouth. I didn’t know what kind of rivalry the two had going, but Inaba-san had descended into madness.

The french cruller looked sweeter than anything I’d eaten before. And while being fed in public might cause me to die of embarrassment, I simply couldn’t find the strength to resist the figure of Inaba-san, her arms stretched out towards me and her cheeks red with awkwardness…

I’d only intended on shutting Yuuka up. So how had it come to this…

“A-aah…”

I hardened my resolve and stretched open my mouth. Inaba-san’s hand neared my lips, along with a sweet, sugary fragrance. As Inaba-san leaned towards me, I found my gaze glued on her slender wrists… Before I knew it, my front teeth had come into contact with a soft, doughy surface, and I bit down. In a single bite, the french cruller in Inaba-san’s hand was reduced to a mouse-sized morsel.

“How is it? Is it good?”

“…yeah.”

I hadn’t tasted anything at all.

“By the way, the amount of times you dream about someone is proportional to their feelings for you” or something along those lines was an ancient, somewhat romantic superstition that Yuuka had attempted to quote, but that superstition was obviously complete bogus. It’d be like saying that I loved Inaba-san so much that every night, I broke free from my physical body and transcended into the dream world to have a romantic rendezvous with Inaba-san. 

The Fifteenth of September A

My two-hundred day summer vacation came to an end [T/N: summer vacation in japan is around 40 days]. Naturally, the one thing I was most looking forward to on returning to school was the fact that I could see Inaba-san every day. During summer, I’d hung out with her around twelve times total, but that was far from satisfactory.

Two weeks after the end of summer vacation, the school’s cultural festival would commence.

Each homeroom discussed their exhibits, and talk between friends and couples about their plans for the day in question could be heard throughout the school. I had never known love in my entire life, but seeing those couples talking and laughing in the hallways always made me feel warm on the inside. Even without understanding love, I knew that their love was undoubtedly sweet. That much I was aware.

Though of course, as usual, I myself didn’t have any plans this year.

“Oh Ayaka, wherefore art thou, Ayaka?”

Apparently caught up in the school’s frenzied atmosphere which had seemingly arose from nowhere, Inaba-san’s excitement was at an all time high, even in the early morning.

“Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth I never will be Ayaka.” From within the depths of my memory, I retrieved the corresponding line and matched Inaba-san’s declaration.

“Good morning. Thanks for playing along with my little skit, Aizawa-san. You’re the only who’d do that.”

I’m sure other people would as well, I thought silently. Her little skit… Playing Romeo and Juliet this early in the morning was, well, it was like eating shortcake for breakfast. It was unbelievably sweet, and just by imagining it, I could feel by heart burn from sugar overdose. 

Several groups of girls shot us teasing looks, as if they couldn’t believe we were doing something so audacious.

“You seem happy this morning.”

“Ehehe. You noticed?”

“…Not in a good way.”

“Ah, hey! Wait a sec! Your friend has something serious to say!”

“Then, how about you be more serious?”

“So, um. I received a love letter.”

Inaba-san held up a white envelope, covering her pink lips. The center of her face was engulfed by white. At this bolt from the blue, I could only stare in wonder.

A love letter…  I couldn’t process it. I felt way out of my depth, an old grandma trying to understand something as fashionable as love letters. All at once, pretending to be a high school student became painfully difficult.

“O-oh, is that so. I guess some people still do it the old-fashioned way.”

“I know right. They asked me to meet them during lunch behind the gymnasium. Isn’t that cliche?”

I silently apologized to Inaba-san, bubbling with innocent joy, but there was something that bothered me.

If I remembered correctly, the exterior walls of the gymnasium were undergoing construction work, as they was being repainted. The construction didn’t require any heavy machinery, so entering the site wasn’t prohibited, and since the operation was scheduled to conclude before the culture festival next week, the school administration wasn’t paying particularly close attention to the site. A complicated scaffolding composed of iron pipes had been arranged at the site, and construction workers frequently entered and exited. In other words, though it was technically off-limits for students, no one would notice if a student or two slipped in.

“Are you going to go?”

“I’m not sure, but I feel like even if I was going to reject them, I should at least meet them in person.”

“I see. Be careful.”

Under the surface of my calm exterior, I felt extremely anxious in more ways than one.

Class was always boring and dull, seeming as if they’d never end, but today, lunch break seemed to arrive in the blink of an eye. Inaba-san wasn’t in the classroom. I was alone as I opened my bento.

I should’ve perfectly fine alone, yet for some inexplicable reason, now that the person who had transferred to our class half a year ago and had always by my side was now absent, far away, even though I’d always been alone up to now, harsh pangs of loneliness echoed throughout my heart. I couldn’t bring myself to take a single bite of food.

If Inaba-san decided to go out with him, starting tomorrow, I’d be alone again.

I felt fingers pointed in my direction, mocking me for eating alone, and I hated it, but it was something I could endure. I hadn’t lived seventy-five years just for show. However, at the thought that Inaba-san might leave for someone else and never come back, all my energy was drained away by worry.

My heart trembled. My body was trembling as well. My vision blurred, and I felt sick. Had I caught another cold? I figured it might be best to visit the infirmary, when suddenly, I noticed panic spreading throughout the classroom. 

“Eh, what is this? An earthquake?”

“It’s quite a big one.”

Someone screamed. One person stood stock still, one person scanned the area, one person fled out the door, one person pressed themselves against the cleaning equipment closet, and one person continued to eat from their bento without tasting anything. The last one was me.

What good would panicking do? But despite my calm appearance, my mind was in a state of utter turmoil. My day so far had been nothing but a trade fair of worst-case scenarios, and a new worst-case had just been introduced.

A thundering roar shook the windows and they rattled. The new worst-case was now reality. From outside, a booming crash sounded, as if some heavy objects had just collapsed.

“What was that sound?” 

“That was scary. I hope everything’s okay.”

The crash had been somewhat muffled and wasn’t that loud, which probably meant it had occurred some distance away from the classroom. I could distinctly feel my body jolt every time the earthquake gave off a tremor, and the earth rumbled and creaked beneath our feet. The class boiled with apprehension. 

The intercom buzzed to life. “Currently, we are gathering information on the earthquake in the staff room. Students, please stand by in your respective classrooms and wait for further instructions.”

The announcement only accelerated the commotion.

After a particularly long tremor, a loud crash echoed from the direction of the gymnasium.

“That was the scaffolding collapsing, wasn’t it?”

Someone’s half-joking remark floated its way to me, amidst the buzz engulfing our class. They were probably right about the scaffolding. Even if the whole thing hadn’t collapsed, the top layers had probably fallen off.

The scaffolding at the gymnasium’s construction sight… huh?

By the way, where did Inaba-san say she was going again?

Before my brain had fully processed anything, my feet slammed against the ground and I shot up. What was I doing, eating lunch? The intercom? Stand by in our classroom? What nonsense. I dashed out of the classroom as fast as my legs would move, and blindly sprinted towards the gymnasium’s direction.

They asked me to meet them during lunch behind the gymnasium. Isn’t that cliche?

Inaba-san’s innocent voice rang in my ears.

My feet pounded against the hard floor as I advanced forward single-mindedly. Nothing else in the world mattered.

My knee-length skirt flapped up and down as I ran, rounded a corner and crashed straight into a teacher who’d just come up from the staff room on the second floor, and I was knocked to the ground, but I ignored their angry voice and jumped to my feet, muttering only a word of apology that I couldn’t care less about, and by the time the apology left my mouth, I was already gone, flying down the flight of stairs.

As I finally neared the second floor landing where the corridor to the gymnasium lay, I stupidly lost my footing on the stairs and fell, crashing into the dusty floor. A wild scream formed at the base of my throat, but I crushed it before it escaped, crumpling into a tiny ball and disposing of it entirely.

Unwilling to waste precious time in waiting for the pain to fade, I rushed to stand up, but my entire body lurched. I felt my ankle twist as it gave way, and sharp pain paralysed by entire body.

“Ow-“

I reflexively curled up into a ball on the floor.

I couldn’t afford to dawdle. I had rush to Inaba-san immediately and ensure she was safe.

But my numb leg refused to budge, showing no signs of recovery. Inadvertently, as if pleading to the heavens, I looked upwards.

“Are you alright?”

My eyes met Inaba-san’s. On the opposite side of the railing was a large glass window, brilliant beams of light shining through it and illuminating Inaba-san’s figure. It felt like I’d been transported into a religious painting depicting the heavens, and divinity was smiling down upon me. Perhaps when I’d fallen on the stairs, I’d passed onto the next life. Fantasies of angels taking the form of Inaba-san to greet me at the gates of heaven flashed before my eyes.

“Can you stand? Let’s go the infirmary. You shouldn’t run down the stairs, you know.”

She held my hand and helped me stand. The more I examined her gesture, the more I realized it was the usual Inaba-san, and when she moved closer to me, I could smell a sweet fragrance on the tip of her nose, and I knew without a shadow of doubt that this was reality. Relief flooded my chest. She was safe.

And as I breathed a sigh of gratefulness, I felt all strength flee from my limbs.

And even though she’d gone out of her way to help me stand, I fell to my knees once more, my shoulders drooping, as I let out heavy breaths. Thank god. Truly. I didn’t know which divinity to dedicate my gratitude towards, but I wanted to thank them from the bottom of my heart. 

“Ah! Careful, Aizawa-san! Did you hit your head? S-someone!! Teacher!!”

Inaba-san’s cries for help echoed throughout the empty corridor devoid of any other people.

“Use them however you like.”

Inaba-san, lending me her shoulder, supported me all the way to the infirmary, where the nurse looked at me as if I was nothing but a bother. With one hand, she took out some poultice and bandages from a cabinet and tossed them onto the desk, then left the room carrying a pink pouch in the other hand. Amidst the smell of disinfectant chemicals, I caught a whiff of tabaco. Was she a delinquent nurse…

“So… how’d it go?” I asked Inaba-san, staring at my leg intently as I began to spray poultice on it and wrap it bandages. Now was probably not the time I should be asking, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Your leg injury is more important right now.”

“It’s more important than my injury.”

…To me, at least.

I couldn’t change outcome of events that already happened. So in order to make the fifteenth of September A count, I would have to act starting tomorrow to reduce the chance of a ‘worst-case scenario,’ even if only just by a little bit. I would stop the confession from happening even if it cost me my life.

I was disgusted at myself for entertaining such malicious ideas, even if they were only half serious.

Inaba-san replied in a somewhat joking manner. “I never talked to him before. He said that he didn’t mind us starting out as friends, but…”

“But?”

“I told him there wasn’t much of a chance of that happening.”

Oof. A decisive blow. Poor guy.

“Why’d you go that far?”

I was relieved, but I was still going to intercept ‘tomorrow’s’ letter. 

Now that I knew that an earthquake would occur today during lunch break and that the gymnasium would become a danger zone, I couldn’t afford to let Inaba-san anywhere near there.

“…I think it’s more enjoyable to be with my best friend.”

When I looked up, Inaba-san averted her eyes, blushing. My heart danced with joy. I felt like I’d become a stupidly simple-minded creature, but what did I care. I let out a spontaneous giggle.

“Hey, don’t laugh!”

“Sorry. I was too happy.”

I was overjoyed that I wasn’t the only one who thought of the other as my best friend.

I felt invincible. I couldn’t care less if today wasn’t chosen. Because while days might, these feelings couldn’t be erased.

“Um, Aizawa-san. Were you, maybe, worried about me?”

“…That’s not it.” My hand, resting on my knee, tensed.

“Fufu, thanks. I really appreciate it.”

“I-I’m telling you, that’s not it.”

“Apparently, whenever you lie, your hand clenches up, or so Yuuka-san said.”

My face burned. Even though I knew any attempt I made to hide my feelings would be in vain, I still lowered my gaze, only to see the hand sitting on my knee clenched into a tiny, white fist.

“I-it’s not…”

It’s not a lie…

As I opened my mouth to say those words, I felt my hand tense up again.

I shouldn’t feel so psychologically repulsed by such an action. Lying should be second nature to me.

I wasn’t a virtuous person. On the contrary, I should’ve been a witch who used any means to achieve her ends.

“Aizawa-san! Want to accompany me at the cultural festival?”

In response that beaming, innocent smile, I could do nothing but nod mechanically. Because now that I’d been reduced to a complete fool by panic, if I tried to open my mouth and speak, I’d only be able to express my utterly honest lies.

The Fifteenth of September B

I fell into despondency the instant I woke.

Everything that had happened since the start of yesterday would also happen today.

Inaba-san would surely receive a love letter today as well. Whoever the sender was, he’d surely send it again today. It was unthinkable that he had confessed on a whim. He must’ve thought long and hard before finally steeling himself for the confession.

Without a doubt, an earthquake would occur at around lunch. Up to this point, the weather had never once changed between same days. Natural disasters almost always obeyed these same rules, never deviating from the previous day. Though perhaps if I waited long enough, an exception might arrive.

Just like how a butterfly beating its wings in Beijing might cause a hurricane in New York, so might natural phenomenon be subject to the same effect, whether it be a change in weather, or whether an earthquake might occur or not, or whether a meteorite might fall or not. But to see change in something as drastic as a change in weather or natural phenomenon, repeating time intervals of twenty-four hours were far too short.

If Inaba-san received the letter, she would inevitably try and meet the sender in person, given her honest, sincere personality. Leading her to the back of the gymnasium.

She’d been safe yesterday, but I wouldn’t so carefree as to believe the same luck would carry on today. Like the butterfly beating its wings, a human might survive an accident on one day, then die from the same accident on the next. I had had seen it happen all too much. In that respect, humans were born by chance, and died by chance.

Too recently, I’d almost lost Yuuka in the same way. Her broken, dying body, the grief I felt, all came rushing vividly back to me. How helpless I’d felt. How pitiful and and heartbreaking her fate had been. I wouldn’t ever forget.

If Inaba-san arrived at the gymnasium just a few minutes later than yesterday, she’d be in danger. If any of them had taken a few minutes slower- for instance, if the boy had arrived a few minutes later- well, stories like these were common, tragic tales. At the very least, such hypotheticals were infinitely more likely to occur than natural phenomenon like earthquakes arriving a few minutes later. 

I had two choices: either intercept the love letter, or to stop the earthquake altogether. And because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop an earthquake, the choice was never in question.

However, I was too late.

“Aizawa-san, Aizawa-san!”

The instant she arrived in the classroom, Inaba-san rushed towards me bearing the news.

The brightly colored envelope she held behind her back told me everything. Loathing swirled inside me in a frenzied whirlpool. If you’re a man, ask her out directly! Don’t send a letter! I wanted to scream. I stopped myself though. I knew that whoever he was, he must’ve spent a long time working up the courage to write a letter and ask her out in person. 

“What do you think this is?” Inaba-san said giddily.

“Fufu, is it a love letter from you to me?” My voice came out monotone and emotionless.

“Wrong! Though, it is my first time in my life I’ve ever gotten a love letter.”

I stared at Inaba-san, a beaming grin spread across her face as if she’d always wanted to experience the feeling of receiving a love letter at least once in her life. I made my decision then and there.

“They asked me to meet them behind the gymnasium during lunch. What do you think?” Inaba-san asked.

“O-oh. I guess some people still do it the old-fashioned way…” I replied with the same exact words as yesterday.

I did so intentionally, hoping that if everything today went just as yesterday did, Inaba-san would remain unhurt today as well. But my tone came out at least an octave lower. I felt miserable.

But miserable as I was, I couldn’t afford to do nothing.

…I think it’s more enjoyable to be with my best friend

With best friend resonating throughout my heart, encouraging me, I carried out my plan during morning homeroom.

“Alright, that concludes homeroom. Today, remember to-“

“Excuse me.”

A single student raised their hand. Me. As I became the center of attention of the entire class, my back became drenched in an unpleasant, nervous sweat. I truly truly, truly hated it, but it was the only way to realize my plan.

Ever since she’d transferred to our school, I had completely shut myself off from other people, passively centering my world on Inaba-san and disregarding all others, to the point where I’d never talked to most of my classmates. Even when it came to Inaba-san, I never talked to her unless she called out to me first. I always left the conversation topic up to her, and I never smiled or laughed as much as I should’ve.

On the rare occasions that I spoke, I only spoke the bare minimum words. They saw me as someone who had no intention of opening her heart, who had no interests other than books. Probably, no, most certainly. That was me.

“O-oh, what is it?” The teacher blinked.

That cold-hearted, closed-off me opened her mouth.

The classroom turned dead silent. Everyone held their breath, staring. No one could predict what that me would say next.

Aah, Ayaka, just stop it already. It’s only the second day. Nothing’s been decided yet. If you tell them what’s going to happen, what’ll you do in the one and a million chance that you’re wrong? And even if things go exactly as you say, they’ll call you crazy. You might even get bullied. There’s still two and a half years of high school. Sure, you might be able to endure two and a half more years. But for you, there’s five times that, more than twelve years. This is your last chance already. Just say ‘never mind’ and put down your hand. Just stop it already…!

But in less than a second, all the inner voices screaming for me to stop, all my internal conflicts, were erased by a single voice uttering a single line.

What happens if Inaba-san dies!?

“Please listen to me. Everything I say from now on is the truth.”

Right as those words left my mouth, I experienced a floating sensation, like my feet had levitated off the ground. I remembered. Remembered a time when I had forgotten which day had been chosen.

I, who couldn’t forget the days that others couldn’t recall, could no longer manage the burden of memories that hadn’t happened. In order to bury the the loneliness of being the sole person left behind by the world, I desperately explained to my parents the events of yesterday, over and over and over, day after day after day. My parents didn’t hide their fed up disgust. They were fed up with having to go along with their only daughter’s delusions. And I, trying to appease them, used prophecies. So that they would take me seriously, I utilized memories that only I knew about…

“…Today during lunch, a massive earthquake will occur. The epicentre will be in the neighboring eastern region with a magnitude of 5. The scaffolding at the construction site of the exterior gymnasium wall will  partially collapse. Please inform the current construction workers and prohibit anyone from entering.”

In my brief, easy to understand summary, I included as many facts as possible. This was the best I could do. All my mental preparation hadn’t been wasted.

I managed to suppress the trembling in my voice to a minimum.

Inaba-san had turned around in the seat in front me me, staring up at me. As if trying to flee her large, round eyes, I averted my gaze. 

The whole class was stunned into speechlessness.

For three seconds, five seconds, the unpleasant hush continued.

“Aizawa, please don’t disrupt the class.” The homeroom teacher’s voice was stiff.

“It’s the truth.”

“…We can have a nice chat about your story afterwards, so please come to the staff office during lunch.”

To my ears, it sounded as if he was asking for time to sort things out. He was probably thinking sympathetically that puberty had unstabilized my mental state, and that he’d spend the latter half of the day giving me counselling. Truly a teacher who cared about his students.

The homeroom teacher left the room. A faint laughter rippled through the classroom, the chuckles devoid of any amicability.

Everyone was too shocked by the sudden turn of events, and no one knew what to think. With a magic incantation that had only taken a few seconds, I had robbed forty humans around me of their ability to think.

Hey Inaba-san, I learned how to use magic before you! …I wasn’t happy in the slightest.

After first period ended, the classroom felt like the bottom of Pandora’s Box. Students spent most of the break imagining exactly what my intentions had been.

“Hey, wait-“

“What she said earlier-“

“Eh, I didn’t know”

“The test I spent all night cramming for…”

“So Aizawa-san was that kind of person all along.”

“Inaba-san, what happened to your partner?”

No one was brave enough to ask the person in question directly. They only stared from afar, hushed whispers passing between friends. 

It was as if the conversation had been broken up by antitrust laws. A bed of nails. 

What was Inaba-san thinking? That was the only thing I cared about.

I hurriedly ran out of the classroom. I’d skip the rest of morning classes. No matter how boring classes had been, no matter how painful repeating the same day over and over again had been, I’d never gone so far as to run away. Because I’d been scared of growing accustomed to running away. But, just this once, I fled. Fled from the girl sitting in front of me.

The bell rang, signalling the start of class.

I walked in the pleasantly cold north-side corridor alone.

An earthquake would occur during lunch. All I had to do was sit in class patiently, and all my predictions would prove themselves come noon. But even just sitting in class felt unbearable right now.

After a while, I also realized that I was skipping out on compulsory education. At this rate, if I got accustomed to skipping, I might fail high school. Though I didn’t mind that so much. Up to now, in order to feign normalcy, I’d spent the second half of my fifteen years advancing through grades and studying, but with this, I’d completely thrown all my efforts away. Better sooner than later, I thought. It was refreshing feeling. In the school building, with classes ongoing all around me, I was imbued with a sense of liberation.

But if someone found me wandering along, it’d be quite bothersome to explain myself. I entered a conveniently empty classroom. Someone had seemingly forgotten to close the window, and the late summer sun cast short shadows into the room.

Though no one was teaching, sitting in a chair somehow made me ill at ease. Instead, I spread my handkerchief on the floor under the window and sat down in the shade. I closed my eyes and took a breath. At least, until lunch, I could relax here, thinking about nothing at all.

“Aizawa-san.”

Inaba-san stood in the entrance of the classroom.

Without hesitation, she walked over to me. My heart jumped. She’d come to rebuke me for my prank. I’d be blamed, I thought. But the familiar voice and expression showed concern.

“Inaba-san…”

What’s wrong? Class started already, you know- I braced myself for those words. But they never came. Inaba-san stayed silent. She could well understand that I didn’t want to hear those words, and after chasing me all the way here, she was smart enough not to earn my contempt in a single sentence.

Inaba-san sat down next to me, reclining against the cool wall under the window. Her left hand was so close to my right that they almost seemed to touch.

“You must’ve thought I was crazy, didn’t you?” Never looking at her, I fixed my gaze on the floor tiles on the opposite side of the room, deliberately acting coldly. 

But I knew the answer to my question already. That Inaba-san had come all the way here for me. That if she thought I was crazy, she wouldn’t have chased me this far.

But I was too ashamed to face her directly.

This was the only way I knew how, and I hated myself for it.

The curtain swayed from a breeze, and the shadows cast on the cool floor danced irregularly. In the moving shape, I saw a line that I couldn’t cross.

“The bell rung already. Shouldn’t you be heading back to class?” I said harshly.

I couldn’t depend on her kindness and get too close to her. Because I was a witch. I wasn’t human. We hadn’t lived for the same amount of time. I wielded a completely different kind of common sense.

I was a witch, so I uttered prophecies. I sorely regretted doing so.

For a while, Inaba-san didn’t say anything, but finally, she timidly opened her mouth. “…Earlier, why did you say that?”

I didn’t reply.

“I-I want to know.”

For a human who only lived through time once, of course she’d doubt something like prophecy.

I had used memories of a yesterday that only I remembered so that today would go better. No one could possibly blame me for something like that, but then again, no one would possibly understand my explanation. It was the same reason for my loneliness. It was the same basis on which I understood my existence as the sole creature of a single species.

It was the reason why I would never be able to find the words to explain my situation to a human.

I should think about this carefully.

“I had deja vu.”

“Deja vu?”

“Yeah. That you got crushed underneath the scaffolding near gymnasium.”

I lied as easily as I breathed.

Just because luck had favored her yesterday didn’t guarantee she’d be safe today as well. This was the only way I knew how to avoid the heartrending scene that had played out in my heart countless times.

“Aizawa-san, you’re lying.”

“…Why, do you think that?”

“Because when you said that an earthquake would occur, I didn’t have deja vu.”

“But deja vu isn’t something that you can definitively rely on…”

“I can definitively know the weather. Earthquakes too. Didn’t I tell you before? That I’d become a witch. You don’t believe me?”

“I do belive you, but…”

That’s unfair…

Inaba-san closed the distance between us in a heartbeat.

“If you believe me, then why didn’t you tell me directly? That there’d be an earthquake, and that the gymnasium would become dangerous.”

Because if I said that, it’d seem like I was jealous, wouldn’t it?

Like telling her in a roundabout way to reject the confession.

“Is it because the letter made you unhappy?”

She was a human who only lived through one day at a time, but her guess had divined my inner emotions unbelievably precisely. My heart pounded so hard that it hurt, but I felt utterly lifeless.

Which is why: 

“What makes you think that?” I played dumb. 

No matter how shamelessly I had to act, no matter how much I had to play dumb, I could never honestly say yeah, you’re right. Even if I had to repeat today a hundred times over, I could never say it.

“That’s hard to say…” Inaba-san was at a loss. The tip of her ear turned red. I’m sorry.

Awkward silence fell over us, and Inaba-san was the first to break it. She drew closer to the unmoving me, and cautiously spoke. “I guess I don’t know, so…”

No, she knew.

But I had to pretend like she didn’t know. Because if she knew…

Inaba-san, who knew exactly what was in my heart, made a proposal that blew my expectations away.

“So let’s call each other by our first names.”

“Why.”

Now?

“Because… I want to get closer to you, Aizawa-san. Then I’m sure I’ll know.”

It must be because we were best friends.

We were both irreplaceable to the other. I didn’t know what Inaba-san saw in me, but for me, she fulfilled my deepest desire- a friend who would be there for me the next day as well. She had been the only one, in my seventy-five years of living.

“…Michiru-chan?”

“That’s way too embarrassing, and the -chan is way too cute…!” Well, Michiru-chan was also way too cute. “Just call me Michiru! Just Michiru!”

“Alright, alright, Michiru. In that case, what will you call me?”

I had a terrible premonition. Because as I looked at Inaba-san’s… rather, Michiru’s indescribable profile, I was reminded of a certain someone calling me happily by my first name.

“Aya-chan.”

I staggered, that person’s face surfacing in my mind.

“Please no. Absolutely not. Anything but Aya-chan. Absolutely not!”

“Ah, I figured as much. I guess Yuuka-san is that special to you?”

That was the grossest misunderstanding ever.

“She’s so special that I never want to see her face again.”

Yuuka was important to me, but special was not a term I’d ever use. She had stepped in as my parent, but she wasn’t my parent. Nor my sister. And someone completely different from a friend. She was technically my cousin, but she wasn’t that either. And even though she wasn’t my temporary guardian, I hoped that she’d continue being a part of my life. But she would never be special.

“Anything but that. I went with ‘Michiru’ too, so it’s only fair.”

Inaba-san… or, Michiru, nodded, pondering seriously.

A gust of wind blew through the window that someone had forgotten to close and the curtain ballooned inwards, allo‌wing the sunshine to penetrate our shady spot, light dancing above our heads. As we exchanged words, the dust caught the light, sparkling like stars.

It was like time had stopped. Without a doubt, Michiru must’ve been using magic. After all, she’d said she’d become a witch, didn’t she?

“Ayaka.”

“Yeah.”

My heart jumped at the sound of my first name. I blushed.

What kind of expression was Michiru making? Keeping my head hung low, I stealthily snuck a glance at her. Her face was turned away, but through a small gap in her hair peeked a bright red ear.

“T-that’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah.”

I was a little embarrassed, but in the happiest way possible.

It was almost noon, but the tepid air still contained hints of the morning temperature. From a distance came faint voices of the ongoing lessons. Those two factors reminded me that I was still living in reality, not some fantasy world of imagination.

In the end, I hadn’t been able to drive away Michiru. The two of us still sat inside the boundary created by the swaying curtain’s shadow.

“Sorry for making you skip class, Michiru.”

“I’d much rather be here with you than sit in class alone for over an hour worrying about you, Ayaka.”

We’d begun calling each other by our first names, and as Michiru had said, I felt the distance between us shrinking all at once. Though if we did it in front of our other classmates, it might create some weird misunderstandings.

For a while, the two of us sat in the empty classroom, savouring the warmth of the other’s body. Left hand linked right hand. Resisting the urge to lose myself in the comfort of her body, I opened my mouth lethargically.

“Michiru, I need you to do something.” 

Even as I worried that I might completely destroy the comforting atmosphere, I cut into the silence. A person’s life was at stake.

“The person who called you out to the gymnasium, he’ll be waiting there. He’s in danger.”

Ahh, only once I said those words did I realize… Worrying about my best friend because of a deja vu was one thing, but fretting this much over a person I didn’t even know based on a groundless suspicion was too much. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought I was a insane.

“By noon-” I need you to reject him and come back, but those necessary, disgusting words got caught in my throat, and I silently closed my mouth, flustered. As I tried to figure out how to convey my thoughts, Michiru took over for me.

“No problem. I’ll go after first period ends.”

“You believe me?”

“Believe what?”

I looked on dazedly. I’d never felt such anxiety even in my dreams. 

“The thing I said.”

No normal person would believe such a thing.

“You said there’d be an earthquake, right?” Michiru squeezed my hand. “So of course I’ll come back here to you.”

“Y-yeah, of course.”

But even still, I hadn’t been honest with Michiru. The structure of this world and its timelines, I could never tell her about that. Michiru believed in me, and yet I couldn’t believe in her to the same degree. Compelled by a fear of being rejected if Michiru discovered the truth, I couldn’t open my heart.

That was my weakness.

When I was a child, in order to make my parents understand my power and the secrets of this world, I used prophecies. 

The prophecies I uttered were precise, exact warnings.

Prophecies about future events that couldn’t be altered by someone’s changing whim, predetermined events like the weather or television programs. I never failed to predict the weather. That much was obvious. Because the weather never changed in my repeating days. But television programs did change. I didn’t realize it then, but they were live broadcasts. The chemical changes in human brains varied from one day to the next, even within repetitions of the same day. I was betrayed by the whims of young, rising television stars, which only caused my parents to stop taking notice to my outlandish claims altogether.

By the next day, any physical proof of my memories of the numerous repeating days would cease to be.

Maybe everything was simply in my head. Maybe I truly was delusional. That hypothesis held a weight of reality that I couldn’t simply laugh off. However, it was also an objective reality that I could absolutely never accept.

Which is why my prophecies were as much for my parents as for myself.

My attempts never once resulted in happiness.

This time had been the same.

Prophet, possessed Miko, messiah, alien from NASA, and finally, witch. Such were labels affixed onto me after noon. They probably thought they were sneaky, whispering behind my back where I couldn’t hear, but too bad for them, I had the ears of a demon. Their faint, nearly inaudible whispers would remain in my memory, completely intact, and I could scrutinize and study them to my heart’s content.

But still, I was rather surprised by the ‘witch’ label. Initially started as nothing more than a joke, the term caught on and spread like wildfire. They’d hit the nail on the head. They’d managed to see through me and affix such a fitting label that I even felt like heaping them with praise.

Ultimately, an earthquake had occurred, destroying the scaffolding, and Inaba-san stayed with me.

And with that, the odds that I’d be bullied for the next twelve years of my high school had also drastically decreased.

But the price I paid was immense.

The hushed whispers of my classmates would likely spread throughout the entire school. The topic would come up at dinner tables where complete strangers would learn about me, and if today was chosen, tomorrow would be no different.

The speed at which rumors spread never failed to impress me. Bad news always finds a way. I suppose using my memories to alter today to my liking was my own fault. That was exactly the reason my parents had discarded me, and why I was forced to spend my life in utter tedium, like a criminal locked away in a cell.

It was a crime I hadn’t ever thought about committing until today. And this time’s punishment were the whispers.

I was a prophet, a Miko, a messiah, an alien, even though I was originally only a witch. What a complicated social status. 

Ahh, I’m begging you, god. I swear I’ll do better next time, so please don’t let today be chosen.

Next time, I promise I’ll believe in Michiru and tell her directly, and I’ll reach an 11:59 p.m where no one gets hurt because they won’t know anything, and I’ll still find a way to build a relationship with Michiru where we call each other by our first names so please, please don’t let today be chosen.

Obviously, today was chosen.

The Seventeenth of September A

The tall trees are toppled by the wind. 

The short trees rot.

And the tallest trees of all are chopped down. 

If you’re too frivolous, you’ll get smashed up. That was only normal. I’d already gotten used to that.

I managed to create a future in which a day where Michiru and I called each other by our first names was chosen. Naturally, I’d achieved such a feat through brute force. Because I’d made every single day other than the fifteenth of September A was a day where we called each other by our names. And in the off-chance that the fifteenth of September A had been chosen, Michiru would still be safe and unharmed so what did I care.

Regardless, that day had passed.

Followed by a day that had felt too good to be true.

In the end, a day where Michiru and I called each other by our first names had been chosen. Though I still didn’t know what that meant in terms of our relationship, or how our subtle emotions for each other would change. But at the very least, right now, I could feel delight without restraint. Because every time she called my name, I felt warm on the inside.

And thereupon, I had a huge fight with Yuuka.

“What the hell!”

While washing the dishes, under the guise of small talk, I brought up the events of the love letter incident, of the earthquake, of my prophecy, and so on, then as smoothly as I could, inserted the entire sequence of events and details leading up to how Michiru and I began calling each other by our first names. I was probably just wanted to boast about it. That I had a partner I could call a best friend.

“For the sake of argument, let’s just say that there’s nothing wrong with your prophecies. Since that’s your choice. How you use your quirk and how you decide to live your life is up to you.”

“Why are you saying such an obvious thing so proudly…”

“But that Inaba-chan thing is inexcusable.” Yuuka exploded, her face so red that I thought she was about to have a nosebleed. “You can’t let yourself fall in love with Inaba-chan! You know, don’t you, that that’ll only cause misery. Aya-chan. Absolutely absolutely not, I forbid it!”

“Why not! And besides, we’re only calling each other by our names right now! I never even-“

-never even said anything about love in the first place… The conversation was flying wildly off track.

“It’s a ticking time bomb. I’m sure of it, now that I’ve heard your story, Aya-chan. I refuse, I refuse. Your older sister absolutely forbids it.”

It was a marvelous sight, watching a twenty-three year old throw a tantrum at full throttle. I could almost see smoke pouring out of her ears.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to marry into a rich family, Aya-chan? Are you really okay with Inaba-chan? Ah, no, that’s not my point. I won’t allow romance in this house. Now, no more talking nonsense as long as you’re living under someone else’s roof.”

I will admit that I had mentioned something about seducing a son of rich noble at one point, but at best, that was just me saying stuff without thinking. It wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. Yuuka was probably well aware of that.

“How could you go so far as to say that?” I faked a gasp. As always, I jokingly mixed shock and hurt into my tone to keep Yuuka in check. However, I’d failed to anticipate her true motives.

“I thought you knew Aya-chan. That you and normal people don’t share the same common sense. I thought you knew that you don’t live in the same world as them, which is why you never tried getting close to anyone else.”

I had no rebuttal.

“Does Inaba-chan know? Did you tell her about your strange habit? Despite never being able to socialize with normal people, were you able to ask Inaba-chan to be your bridge to the rest of the world?”

I know, but did she have to go that far?

“Strange habit… what the heck.”

What right did she have to go that far? …No, she probably did have a right. Yuuka was qualified to say those words. But I didn’t want to hear them. Because her words were the inescapable truth.

“That’s right, a strange habit! A world that only you’ve seen, that no one else knows about. You know what they call that kind of world? They call it a dream! A fantasy!”

I felt blood rush to my head and I screamed. My voice inadvertently rose hysterically. “It’s not a dream!”

We glared at each other, but I knew that I couldn’t offer a single shred of proof for my words. Not a single lowly piece of evidence that it wasn’t just a dream or fantasy. The current Yuuka in front of me had never experienced my prophecies. Not that I hadn’t tried. But every time I did, that day wouldn’t be chosen. All my efforts were splendidly rejected by the world, never having happened. I couldn’t offer a single shred of proof.

“I don’t dream.”

“…In other words, that means you don’t really know what dreams are, right? To put it bluntly, aren’t your claims of a ‘today that wasn’t chosen’ the same thing as a dream?”

I scoffed internally. Who had ever heard of dreams lasting five times longer than one’s waking hours?

But again, I couldn’t refute her point. No evidence I could offer to convince her. And even if I did get her to see one of my prophecies come true, she could simply chalk up my ‘repeating days’ to precognitive dreams. Because while my claim was true, there were no inconsistencies or discrepancies between the two statements. And more than anything else, since I’d never had a dream before, I couldn’t explain how my repeating days differed from dreams because I simply didn’t know.

Humans experience dreams during REM sleep, and it was also true that humans enter REM sleep about five times per day.

It was also true that I didn’t dream, and that I repeated each day on average five times.

I could say nothing in the face of such uncanny coincidences.

“Don’t you think so? You won’t learn anything about reality by listening to stories about other people’s dreams. The only thing you’ll get is your time wasted. Because it’s a dream, not reality. Are you going to keep making up stories like that for the rest of your life?”

Yuuka talked quickly and continuously, as if cross-examining me. Her impromptu monologue seemed awfully planned out, like she had thought about it thoroughly before. But her speech was more fluent and smooth than any monologue I’d heard.

That’s how I realized it.

That she’d been thinking about it for a long time now, which is why her chest always felt warm. Always wanting to say it but never able to say it, she’d been suppressing that feeling in her chest for so long, and I, as someone who never perceived time in the same way as humans, had never realized. She had hidden her feelings deep in her chest all while jovially smiling at me, all this time.

“Is that what you were thinking whenever you listened to my explanations…?”

I felt like I’d been stabbed.

I thought I didn’t need people to understand me. But only now did I realize how much of a savior Yuuka had been to me when she’d pretended to understand.

“You know what kind of child I was, don’t you?” I asked desperately, grasping for straws.

A look of distress formed on Yuuka’s carefully controlled facial features. She was probably acting that way for my benefit.

“I know. That you simply matured faster than others- a prodigy. The people around you said stuff like ‘she can see the future!’ or ‘it must be her second time through life!’, casual words that didn’t mean anything. Your parents, just for fun, innocently decided to test the extent of their beloved daughter’s talents. Right?”

When I was a child, my parents were everything to me. The sole reason I had begun using my powers of memory in full capacity was to affirm myself in the eyes of my parents by answering their expectations. For a time, I revelled in their praise at my extraordinary, god-given power. But that time was short-lived. My parents quickly returned to their cold attitude, detesting my memory ability. For feeble, living things such as humans, a witch’s memorization ability was equivalent to lethal poison.

“So why are you still making up stories even now?” Perhaps sensing the strangled, imploring echo in my voice, Yuuka’s words were tight and restrained, as if she were biting back all her frustration and anger.

“I just, I really just want to know what you’re seeing that no one else is. I refuse to believe that you’re just doing this for no reason. I don’t want to accept that.”

I said nothing.

Yuuka threw one last glance in my direction and left. I didn’t make a sound. I noticed that my cheeks were wet and despised myself for being such a crybaby. Despised myself for crying even though Yuuka surely had more things she’d wanted to say.

Now that I thought about it, it was the first time I’d fought with Yuuka.

I didn’t even know how to perform the ritual known as reconciliation. If the second tomorrow arrived, with what kind of expression should I face Yuuka with? She’d probably come to visit me again. Ahh, was the exact thing with Michiru. I hadn’t grown at all.

If today had been a dream, then all would have been fine, but I didn’t dream. I’d never dreamed. If only today had been my first dream ever. Though it would’ve been a terrible nightmare.

So that today wouldn’t be chosen, so that it’d become nothing more than a dream, I fervently prayed, and then, like the end of every other day, fell into a clear, deep sleep.

The Seventeenth of September B

If fate really did exist, then I suppose everything that happened happened because it was necessary. But in the long time that I’d been living, I had come to see that this world was made up purely of coincidences piled one on top the other.

Even if the schedule written across the calender didn’t change, people’s plans and actions differed across days.

That’s all human ever amounted to- living their lives through repeating whims. So even supposing that the thing called fate did exist, it would undoubtedly be a pile of ephemeral, empty human whims stacked on top of each other.

“So that’s basically what happened. By the way, after the yesterday you heard this story, she flew into complete rage.”

In reality, she had been much more than angry.

It had been a fatal antagonism.

Today’s coffee was twenty percent more bitter than usual, and I lifted the cup to my mouth with a trembling hand. I tried to take a sip but ended up gulping down a huge mouthful of the hot liquid, scalding my tongue. It was an unlucky day.

“That made me angry? Argh! That means I can’t get angry today, doesn’t it!”

“Probably. Since I already know what you’re going to say, and it’s hard for me to get riled up the second time around.”

“I think I understand. I wonder how Aya-chan felt after the fight with yesterday’s me?”

I fell into a contemplative silence.

I hadn’t considered it before, but Yuuka only ever wanted to know about me… only wanted to hear about me, only wanted to talk about me. Not just yesterday, but always…

I’d told Yuuka about numerous yesterdays that hadn’t been chosen.

I thought that she might be using my stories as material for a photo essay. I wanted to scoff at my own stupidity. In what universe would that possibly happen?

What could possibly be interesting about my daily life where I tried to pass off as human? If my life was really that dramatic, I’d still have the mind and spirit of a lively teenage girl. But instead, I distanced myself from my surroundings, adopting a resigned, farsighted, and boring outlook. What part of that was interesting?

Obviously it wasn’t. Which meant that from the very beginning, the only thing Yuuka wanted to know about was me. 

The only reason she listened to my stories was because…

“…Hey, Yuuka. Do you really think my stories are interesting?”

“They are. I’ll never get bored of them. Even if I listen to them everyday.” Yuuka smiled, her lips red with lipstick.

She was lying.

It was a hunch, but one that I felt sure of. That Yuuka didn’t care about my stories of yesterday in the slightest. She never cared about the events of a day that hadn’t happened. The only thing she wanted to know were my thoughts. In other words, there wasn’t a big difference between that and an ordinary human explaining what he dreamed last night.

If that were true, that the only thing Yuuka wanted to know were my inner thoughts and feelings, then her feelings for me couldn’t simply be chalked up to ‘love at first sight’ anymore.

“Starting when?”

“Are you really planning on trying it?””

“No, not that! I’m asking starting when did you fall in love with me!”

“Oh, so you were asking about that. I told you, didn’t I? I fell in love at first sight. Eh, but what’s this all of a sudden? Have you finally decided to return my love? Have my feelings gotten through to you?”

You wish. Though Yuuka certainly had a way of driving me crazy…

“You first saw me when I was ten. Is there something wrong with you?”

I met Yuuka five years ago, or in my terms, twenty five years ago. It was the winter just before my tenth birthday, and my parents had left me in the care of relatives. The members of the family relatives included Yuuka, who was a high schooler at that time. For the duration of my stay, she took care of me and treated me exceedingly well, and despite the fact that I never opened my heart to her, she seemed like a kind and reliable person. For someone who didn’t along with their parents, I was incredibly grateful.

But my impressions had been wrong. From that time to now, she’d always held ulterior motives.

“Well, that’s ’cause you’re not human, right? Ten years is way different for you.”

That’s right. I wasn’t human. I’d thought about it countless times. I was a different species who experienced a different time. That belief hadn’t changed. Because when I misused my power, I ended up hurting people.

“Living in this world as a non-human is really harsh, you know. Isn’t that obvious?” Yuuka spoke as if she was arguing with a little child, pretending to stoop to their intelligence to entertain their ideas. “The dog without a master is taken to the animal shelter and euthanized, and the bear scavenging for food at the base of the mountain is exterminated by hunters. I’m sure you know.” 

The example left a bad taste in my mouth, but it contained a fragment of truth. No matter who you were, if you were human, you were permitted to live. Because this world belonged to humans. On the other hand, that compassion didn’t extend to wild animals.

“No one will protect you. You’re not allowed to live if you don’t have someone who needs you.”

Because if you’re useful to someone else, you’ll receive money, and without money, you aren’t allowed to live.

“You have so much more time than other people, huh. Have you thought about trying to be useful to someone else even once?”

“Don’t I tell you about a lot of stuff…” I knew. That Yuuka wasn’t talking about that.

Yuuka was telling me to earn my wage in society. To learn independence by working with peers my age, to repay the kindness from one’s dearest parents and in doing so, foster one’s sense of community service, to fill one’s life with all those experiences and activities needed to mature into an adult, experiences and activities that Aizawa Ayaka of fifteen years was fatally lacking- that was what she was trying to say.

“You do. But instead of that useless stuff, it should be something more meaningful and beneficial.”

“You mean, beneficial to you?”

“No. I mean to the people of this society. If you can prove yourself beneficial to the this society and to others, you’ll graduate from being my pet cat to a member of the world.”

Why was I being lectured by her out of all people? It was extremely vexing. I hated it, but the fact that I could feel hate or any emotion in the first place was solely thanks to her. The only reason I was alive right now was because she had taken care of me all this time.

“For example, math. For ordinary people, they’d much sooner be able to grab clouds than discover a new theorem, but for you, it’s very much in the bounds of reality. At any rate, you have five times the time of others. Isn’t that a reason to study? Oh, speaking of time, you could also aim to become a shogi or go master. Memorizing openings and patterns would be your specialty, wouldn’t it?”

Asking me to optimize my everyday life by using my memory felt like an indirect insult.

“For important games of shogi, even if you lose, four of the five times won’t happen. And because you have a perfect memory, you’ll never lose the same way twice. And you’ll be able to calculate infinite moves ahead because the board in your head will be perfectly clear.” Yuuka had a faraway look in her eyes. “Maybe you’ll become a genius at the game. And in that case, if you ever experience difficulty, there might be people willing to help you. Other than me.”

Yuuka stopped and took a breath, smiling kindly. “But you know, being useful isn’t necessary.”

Yuuka’s gaze was so amiable that I trembled with fright and disgust. A chill ran up my entire body.

She most certainly was not making excuses for me.

“As long as you don’t feel any desire to live as a human, there’s nothing wrong with staying the way you are.”

Yuuka might’ve been feigning a smile, but in that face was an unmistakable, disgusted scorn. I wanted to flee, to be anywhere but here.

“No one will ever be able to understand the strange everyday that you keep babbling on about. To be honest, I’m dubious about your claims. After all, you’ve never offered proof of your repeating days. And on the contrary, there’s seven billion people on the planet to serve as counterproof.

“But that’s fine. Because your unassuming, dull eyes, which never ask for the understanding of others, which never beg for sympathy, which never lament at your unmatched misfortune – I find those eyes irresistibly beautiful.”

“I’ve never heard more disgusting words of love in my life. That’s the most horrible compliment I’ve heard in my seventy-five years of life. I am so grateful that you would offer such words of love to someone as elderly as me.” I suddenly was filled with energy, and saliva flew out of my mouth as I spit out those words.

“As if someone like you could be considered elderly. You’re a child. I don’t care how long you’ve been living, but you’ll never grow into an adult if you spend all your time living a teenager’s carefree life. Call yourself an adult only after you’ve survived twenty years living along without relying on someone else’s wallet and roof, and then endure twenty more years of mourning for your parents all while never ceasing your determination, and then, only then can you call yourself elderly. Aya-chan, you’re still just a weak little child.”

“What do you… I’ve already lived for seventy-five years. …I’ve endured it.”

“And in those seventy-five years, was there a single moment where you realized that friendships aren’t eternal? That someone even more precious to   you than yourself would one day become nothing more than tiny bones buried in the ground, where you started to question the meaning of life itself?”

“Who…who are you?”

In front of my eyes was someone’s face I’d known for a long time, someone’s face that I was sure I’d see even in death, and yet, and yet it felt like I was staring at a stranger. I didn’t know if Yuuka noticed my trepidation. But she didn’t entertain my question with an answer.

“Hey, Aya-chan. …To you, is life just a endless chore of enduring an eternity of boredom and tedium?”

How could I find happiness and interest in repeating days where every day resembled the next? Such days were indeed boring, but they weren’t only filled with boredom.

“I know you enjoy your time with Inaba-chan. But there’s no way someone as smart as you hasn’t realized it yet, is there?”

“…realized what?”

“Why, when despite the fact that your everyday life is filled with boredom, the time you spend with Inaba-chan is filled with joy no matter how many times you repeat them.”

At the end, I heard her mumble something like I’m so jealous.

But I understood her point. Why did someone like me, who claimed that I didn’t need to live for anyone, find a life where I didn’t live for anyone so boring and tedious?

In other words… the fact that I lived only for myself was the cause of my boredom.

Whenever I was Michiru, I’d fuss over every small detail to ensure that she’d be happy, and as compensation, I’d be rewarded with endless amounts of joy. And not just Michiru, but Yuuka as well. When I spent time with Yuuka, I went through great efforts to make our time together enjoyable.

“So let me ask you again. When you fought with me, how did you feel?”

I averted my eyes. I didn’t want to answer honestly, but I also couldn’t evade her question. “I hated it when we fought. When I thought that we might never reconcile again, I was really scared.”

That was my conclusion after only a single day of thinking.

Yuuka drained the rest of her coffee, seeming satisfied. “I see, I see. But you don’t need to worry about that. Because I could never come to hate you.”

Though we hadn’t technically fought today, I’d taken infinitely more damage today than yesterday. 

If yesterday had been akin to getting sliced open by a sharp blade, today was the equivalent of getting thrown into a whirling meat grinder. A wound with a clean cross-section was easy to treat and healed quickly. But if that wasn’t the case, if the wounds had been etched and gouged deep into the body, then ugly scars would remain behind.

Yuuka had probably done that on purpose. For all this time, she had offered me infinite patience and kindness free of charge, acting like my personal nurse while I childishly declared myself an old woman. Of course she hadn’t been satisfied.

Without a doubt, the second time around had been worse.

The Fourth of October C

On the appointed day of Konoha High School’s Thirtieth Cultural Festival, the weather was beautiful, a clear, cloudless autumn day. At intervals, a delightful gust of breeze would blow past. During the mornings and evenings, the wind might feel chilly, but throughout the day, not even the weakest constitutions would feel discomfort.

And while the wind had never promised its appearance in the cultural festival, Michiru had, and as promised, we went around browsing the cultural festival together.

The school interior, having been decorated with various attractions and themes, felt like a completely different world. We systematically went through all the attractions, mostly thanks to Michiru, who never hesitated to dive in headfirst every time something new caught her eye. She was really indiscriminate when it came to things that caught her eye.

“Ayaka, I knew you were good at studying, but I didn’t know you were this good!”

I’d completely laid waste to the student council sponsored english vocabulary contest. My english vocabulary consisted of one hundred thousand dictionary entries. Apparently, it was the first time a first-year had won. Normally, I wouldn’t do anything so immature as fully use my powers in a silly competition, but according to Yuuka, I was just a little child, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Not that I was angry about that or anything.

Michiru looked at me concernedly. “You won the whole thing, but I feel like you’re sulking, just a little.”

“I’m not sulking or anything.”

Yuuka’s words lingered in my mind, and I couldn’t shake them off. And so here I was, making Michiru worry and exactly just like a child, and at the same time, I was filled with happiness at the thought of Michiru worrying about me. My cheeks felt like they were about to burst open from happiness… I guess I really was a child…

“Do you maybe… not enjoy being with me?”

So when Michiru murmured those words, my heart froze to its very core.

Flustered, I glanced at Michiru only to see her eyes sparkling with a twinkling, mischievous light.

“Don’t say things you know aren’t true.”

In secret, I stroked my chest, trying to rid myself of my anxiety. I’d hid my flusteredness well enough… probably.

Michiru had no reason to abandon me. As that though crossed my mind, I realized that I might’ve already become hopeless beyond salvation.

I squeezed her hand and I felt her squeeze back- such a joyful festival would only last one day. The festival had occurred yesterday, and the day before that as well, but I still didn’t let go of her hand once.

“I don’t mind you sulking though. You’re really cute when you do.”

“I’m not cute.”

“Ehehe.”

As I looked away from Michiru, trying to escape both her loose, carefree giggles as well as the violent throbbing in my chest, I changed the subject. “Where do you want to go next?”

“I have some friends in the handicrafts club so let’s go there.”

“Sure.”

The handicrafts club’s exhibit was located in the arts and crafts classroom. From the amount of people present, it seemed to me that clubs would receive more applicants during the cultural festival than the beginning of the year.

“Woah… Ayaka, aren’t you way too good at this?”

As we braided friendship bracelets, Michiru stared intently at my hands.

They were words I’d gotten tired of hearing. Before I’d met Michiru, those words were always followed with How repulsive… but now,

“Are you maybe a genius?” No one else had complimented me like that before.

“Yeah, I am. I’m a genius.”

I had said those words yesterday too, and the day before. Why shouldn’t I? While repeating the same things over and over was the thing I hated most, it was also what I was best at. 

After finishing my own bracelet, with nothing else to do, I found myself engrossed in Michiru’s hands. Her long, thin fingers, her glittering nails. Her lightly moving fingertips. 

“Having fun?” 

“Yeah. Your bracelet is really pretty,” I answered.

I was with Michiru, so I was having fun. And even if something was painful, she was by my side so I could endure it.

“Hey, if you don’t mind, do you want to exchange bracelets?”

“Sure, but…”

I really had become hopeless beyond salvation. Without Michiru, I really might die.

Even after we left the arts and crafts room, I hadn’t nearly had my fill of fun yet. We browsed through an art exhibit held by Michiru’s friend in the corner classroom on the third floor of the northern building admiring her painstakingly crafted artwork, enjoyed the third-year horror enthusiasts’ haunted cafe, and snacked on delicious cotton candy. I immersed myself in ordinary as if trying to flee something else. The student council was giving a presentation on their sociology research, while, which wasn’t particularly interesting, wasn’t boring either. As I turned my gaze away from the presentation to the gymnasium’s main stage, which featured the rakugo club’s masterpiece- a intricately designed play featuring Run Melos, a Truly Spectacular Performance Made Possible by our Brilliant Actors, Who Have Put in Countless Hours of Practice Supported by the Gods. And while I didn’t dispute the performance or actors’ brilliance, the play had been the exact same for the past three days, so I was somewhat bored. Michiru didn’t fail to notice my sigh.

“Ayaka?”

“Sorry, I’m just a feeling a little tired.”

“Are you okay? Want to go somewhere quieter?”

It was the third fourth of October. The third cultural festival, but the first time this development had occurred.

With Michiru holding my hand, I staggered to my feet. Where should we go?

We walked down a hallway, dyed orange by afternoon sun, already beginning its western descent. The voices of students filled with delight faintly could faintly be heard, and through the window, I caught sight of the still silhouette of a boy and girl in the opposite corridor… I felt like I was walking in page one of adolescenthood.

Eventually, Michiru returned to the art club’s exhibit, guiding me along. 

The sun’s rays filled the empty classroom. The multicolored paintings, under the sunlight, shone with unique hues. A fairy-tale scene.

“I guess everyone’s already returned to their clubroom.”

The two of us were sitting on the garden bench in the corner of the room that had been prepared as a place from where one could view all the art.

For a short while, I relished the comfortable silence. Not wanting to shatter our own, peaceful dreamland, completely cut off from the rest of the physical world, I held my tongue, letting Michiru’s warmth wash over me as she too sat motionless beside me.

A tranquil where we could feel each other’s breaths, a warm and soothing time, a time that, as cliched as it might sound, I wished would stretch until eternity.

But I suppose I was a human who wouldn’t be satisfied in eternity. I’d definitely get bored eventually. So when Michiru finally did open her mouth to speak, I didn’t mind in the slightest.

“I’m relieved. Recently, I feel like you’ve looked unhappy, Ayaka.”

“Huh?”

Michiru’s voice was faint, almost a whisper.

From my perspective, two and half months had passed since I’d been rebuked by Yuuka. I thought I’d recovered from that incident a long time ago.

“I think it started around maybe two weeks ago?”

Despite my best attempts at feigning normalcy, she’d seen perfectly through me. “…yeah, you’re right.”

That day hadn’t been chosen. Both days, painful, agonizing days, had ceased to be, vanishing into the ocean of probability.

Like nothing had happened, Yuuka had stopped by my house tens of times already, and in each of those visits, we talked about mundane nothings and I beat back all her attempts at sexual harassment. Just as always, but I couldn’t remove the tiny thorn that had implanted itself into my heart.

“But you seem to having fun today. I’m glad.”

Hey, Michiru. Don’t show me kindness.

She was being nice to me because she didn’t know that I was an actual witch.

My vision blurred. Without a doubt, it was because I’d been blinded by the setting sun. I heard the whooping voices of students frolicking about from afar. The classroom was too quiet. Because I couldn’t find the words to reply to Michiru.

“Don’t cry, Ayaka.” I was wrapped in an embrace. By who? That was obvious. There was only one person with me. “Because I can’t forgive people who make Ayaka cry.”

-Eh, what the heck... My chest hurt so much that it felt like it would rupture. Did I hate it? Did I find the feeling repulsive? I didn’t hate it. The feeling… I couldn’t put it into words. Because if I put it into words, I could never turn back again.

My face burned, red. I couldn’t look directly at Michiru. Yuuka had been correct in her future prediction, however hasty she had been.

“We’re supposed to be best friends, aren’t we?” Michiru said. 

“No, not supposed to. We have to be.”

That was wrong. We weren’t best friends.

True best friends didn’t make tactless assertions about their relationship.

I stole a sidelong glance at Michiru, whose ears were bright red. What kind of expression was she making right now, I wondered. If I wanted to find out, it had to be now. If I looked now, I’d remember for all of eternity.

“People might come.”

“No one’s coming. ‘Cause I reserved the whole place to ourselves.” Michiru’s eyes glittered teasingly. My heart throbbed.

“Earlier, when I saw your expression,” Michiru continued. “I was really surprised.”

“Earlier?”

“When I said that that you might not enjoy being with me. I was joking, but I could tell you were super shocked and flustered.”

“That’s… not true.”

Seeing Michiru’s eyes stained with emotional tears and her luscious lips, my inner thoughts were thrown into chaos. Emotions I couldn’t put into words writhed in my chest. When I silently called her name, my chest warmed. This one person understood me. She allowed me to clutch onto hope.

“Do you remember? The day we first met.”

“…the day of the entrance ceremony, right? You barely made it on time,” I replied.

I remembered it like it had happened yesterday. Even without my superhuman memory, that wouldn’t change.

I never wondered if Michuru had been embarrassed at that time. Because her face had been flushed crimson red.

“What about the first time we ate lunch together? Remember that?”

“I remember how Michiru forgot her bento.”

Thinking back, I had a hunch that every time I made lunch for Michiru, the distance between us had shrunk.

It had already become obvious, but I wanted more time, even just a little, to prepare my heart. Those mixed feelings passed back and forth between us, disguised in our roundabout conversation.

“When I admitted that I wanted to become a witch, do you still remember that?”

“How could I forget? Even though you still haven’t shown me any magic yet.”

Though I’m sure that the day would come where she would show me a wonderful world I’d never seen before.

That day would come. Was it a premonition, or an intuition?

“…the first time we fought.”

“…I wouldn’t really call that a fight though.”

Even now, my cheek occasionally stung from where I’d been slapped. I wished I could forget the entire thing, but recently, I didn’t mind it even if I didn’t forget. Somehow, I’d come to terms with that memory.

“And the expressions and emotions of an Ayaka that you never showed in school.”

“I was so embarrassed I wanted to die.”

In the same way that I wanted to see all of Michiru’s various expressions, I think Michiru must’ve wanted to see all of mine.

Ahh, that was it. I understood why it couldn’t be Yuuka. Because while I realized that Yuuka had a multitude of hidden faces and personalities that I didn’t know about, I was afraid of discovering them.

But with Michiru, it was different.

I want to know more. I want to keep staring. When I saw her innocent, beaming smile, I knew the sincerity of those feelings bottom of my heart. After I came to that realization, I became surprisingly honest.

“How did you feel when we called each other by our first names?”

“My heart was racing.”

Whenever I called her name, whenever she called my name, a violent mayhem assaulted my chest.

“What are you feeling now?”

“The same feeling as Michiru, I’m sure.”

It must be love. A reckless feeling where my mind was boiling, but I didn’t care no matter what happened. A feeling with an unmistakable shape. Gentle, and warm.

“…”

Lasting just a single second of my lifespan was the longest kiss.

“Ehehe, I got to taste Ayaka.”

Michiru’s cheeks were dyed, wearing a smile so soft and gentle that she seemed like she would melt. I was probably wearing the same expression.

“What kind of taste…”

“A delicious one.”

I couldn’t chastise her for being an idiot. Because I too had become an idiot.

Bliss.

No other words could describe it.

“Somehow, I feel like I’ve done this with you before, Ayaka.”

That’s just your imagination.

Not deja vu.

Today was the first time I’d kissed her, and even on the todays that weren’t today, we hadn’t kissed. My absolute memory guaranteed it.

“I see,” I stammered.

“Yeah…”

I glanced fleetingly at Michiru, whose face, illuminated by the sun, had turned as red as her ears.

My heart thumped so loud I feared it might break altogether.

“Hey… can we do it one more time? Please?” I got greedy. Stirred up by a premonition.

“Yeah… …mm-“

I likely wouldn’t get the chance to taste a kiss so sweet for a while.

So right now, I wouldn’t hesitate.

A day as blissful as the fourth of October C was never meant to be chosen.

---

T/N: While I don’t like making promises about when the next chapter is going to be released, one month is a little too long even for me. On the other hand, these chapters are rather long, so we’ll see what happens I guess.

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